INTRODUCTION

When journalists are sent to cover conflict and tragedy, it can be a stressful and sometimes lonely experience for partners and families, as well as for those travelling.

The simple guidelines in this leaflet are based on Dart Centre consultations with journalists and their partners.

We hope they might help you discuss together, and cope better with, the anxieties and challenges that come when one of you is away — especially if the assignment involves violence or tragedy.

BEFORE AN ASSIGNMENT

•  What you don't know is often is more frightening than what you know. Talk the assignment through together — what's involved, what the dangers might be, and the precautions being taken.

•  Make arrangements for editors/ newsdesks to keep in regular touch with partners at home. Agree a 24/7 number, with names, that partners can call for support or information.

•  Make sure the company has up-to-date addresses as well as phone numbers of partners — or anyone else (e.g. parents, close friend) — who might need contacting while the partner is away.

•  It's a good idea, beforehand, for those staying behind to visit their partner's workplace — to put faces to names and see how things work.

•  If at all possible, be clear with each other how long the assignment will be. Discuss what form of regular contact might work best for you both (and for any children).

•  Make sure you both know what arrangements are in place if things go wrong — especially if this is freelance work. That should include insurance.

•  Remember there's the option of asking not to be sent on an assignment you both consider too risky.

Children:

•  Talk through with them simply and clearly why Mummy/Daddy is going away. Let them ask questions and express any fears — but consider carefully how much detail they need to know.

•  You might wish to take the children to visit the partner's workplace too.

•  With younger ones, who may show distress in the classroom, it can be an idea to let school know that a partner is going away for a while. The class may even want to send a joint card or email,

DURING AN ASSIGNMENT

If you're the one travelling:

•  Make every effort to connect regularly with home and children — by phone, by email, by mobile text. Tell them where you are and what you're doing — if you can, with humour and colour.

•  Make sure employers know that phoning home — and the cost of doing so — is part of the deal. No place for guilt about this.

If you're at home:

•  It can feel lonely. Don't hold back from asking family and friends for help. Explain that you're on your own.

•  Seek out others in a similar situation — perhaps with the company's help. Talking to someone in the same boat can make a difference.

•  Don't hesitate to ring your partner's workplace for information or reassurance.

AFTER AN ASSIGNMENT

•  Re-entry to home life is often more stressful — and dangerous — for relationships than parting and being away. Discuss what you both need to smooth that transition.

•  Once home, be patient and respectful towards each other. Schedule some early time off to reconnect.

•  Remember you've had very different experiences — especially if there are young children at home. Talk, but beware of “dumping” emotion or distress.

•  It takes time for everyone to readjust. As one returner put it:

“When you're away, you look forward to the homecoming — sometimes thinking about it is a comfort — you think of the welcome, smiling faces, the calm and being home.”

But as the returned-to commented:

“While he's away I have everything to do, chores, kids and my job. So when he's back I want him to get on with things, go out, get away from being tied to home.

•  Unwinding after a major trip is important. If you're returning, experts advise it can help to spend a little time on the way home “decompressing” with colleagues. But make sure your partner understands and is OK with that.

•  You can't always be there for special events in a child's life. When you're back, make time to do normal things together.

•  If you need support and advice, there are trained counsellors who can help.

FURTHER INFORMATION

The Dart Centre for Journalism and Trauma is grateful to the Rory Peck Trust ( www.rorypecktrust.org ) and to One Plus One ( www.oneplusone.org.uk ) for their support in compiling these guidelines.